Guest post by Mary Ellen Sanajko, Senior Coach & Founder at Conduit Coaching
Is it over yet?
2020. Yeesh. Hurry up 2021!
Yes, a vaccine is on the horizon. Long-term care homes are widely expected to be the highest priority for both workers and residents to receive the vaccine first.
Yes, the U.S. election is settled. Mostly.
And yet…there’s still so much pain, especially in seniors care.
Sadness, frustration, even despair have become daily companions.
Loneliness and isolation are taking a toll on residents while staff’s mental well-being is taking a beating.
It’s understandable.
You’re dealing with a second (or third or fourth) wave some were optimistically anticipating we’d miss, separated from family and friends, confronted with the open wounds of racial injustice and economic disparity, juggling work, childcare, and homeschooling.
It’s too much.
Control Centre
And. All is not lost.
Contemplating this overload, I’m reminded of the Locus of Control idea popularized in Stephen Covey’s ’80s classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Here’s a refresher: 
- The inner circle represents what’s within our control – our attitudes, actions and choices.
- The next circle is what’s beyond our direct control but within our ability to influence – like others’ thoughts or behaviours and our children’s futures.
- The outer circle is everything outside our control and influence — like skin color, past decisions, the weather, the economy, a global pandemic.
Start with yourself.
Understandably you may feel overwhelmed, feeling you don’t have the bandwidth for others. So let’s start with you.
I invite you to take a moment to put on your own metaphorical oxygen mask with these two scientifically proven practices.
- Mindfulness. Yes, it’s a trendy topic for good reason: the umpteen research-backed benefits.
Taking a focused breath or three clears our mind, helps us take a step back from our struggles, and keeps front-line Seniors Care workers safer and injury-free.
During COVID, I’ve had the honour of helping forward-thinking Seniors Care employers bring mindfulness programs to their leaders and teams.
Participants’ feedback is clear.
Mindfulness helps them remain calm in challenging work situations, manage anxiety when they’re feeling stressed, and be more focused at work.
Bonus points: They also feel proud and grateful that their employer sponsored the initiative.
- Self-Compassion. More than 2,000 studies prove that self-compassion opens us up so we can see ourselves and others more clearly — a helpful prerequisite to addressing the all-too-frequent difficult emotions of working in Seniors Care during COVID.
Here’s how it works.
Recognize our common humanity. See your difficulty as part of being human. Among the million others working in Seniors Care globally, it’s a safe bet somebody else feels the exact same way you do at the same moment.
Practice self-kindness instead of self-criticism. Treat yourself with the warmth and understanding you’d offer a good friend who knows you’re doing good and important work.
Reach out. Open up.
Now you have the capacity to move to the second circle — influencing others, whether it’s staff, colleagues, residents or family members.
- Connect with others. Even before COVID, research confirmed that relationships are our greatest sources of joy, mental health, and well-being. Now? They’re essential.
I saw a quote recently that resonated:
Today you could be standing next to someone who is trying their best not to fall apart. So whatever you do today, do it with kindness in your heart.
Some ideas:
- Lean into Brene Brown’s evidence-based advice and be vulnerable. Honest, appropriate self-disclosure cultivates intimacy, support and belonging. Yes, you may have the title “manager”…and you’re still allowed to take a break from being the pillar of strength.
- At your next huddle, bolster connections by pairing people for a 2-minute chat about something that’s going well and/or something they’re grateful for.
 Focus on the feasible.
As punishing as 2020 has been, it will come to an end. Really.
And — epidemiologists assure us — so will the pandemic.
Until then, now’s the time to practice focusing on what you can control or influence, do your best, and let go of the rest.
About the author
Mary Ellen Sanajko is a certified teacher of the Search Inside Yourself program, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program born at Google and based in neuroscience.
She’s also a Certified Coach whose 25+ year career includes working with seniors care organizations to help teams build workplace harmony through coaching individual leaders and teams, training programs, and guiding the acclaimed Seniors Care Leadership Academy.
Based here in the lower mainland, Â Mary Ellen and her colleagues at Conduit Coaching have developed quite a track record helping Seniors Care leaders and their teams locally, and across North America, get the best out of themselves and each other…while creating a home for residents and workplace for staff that’s a source of joy, connection and meaning.
